Alhamdulilaah, there shouldn't be a day when we don't say Alhamdulilaah. Every day that I pray, I asked god to bring me close to him, I asked for my heart to be filled with love for Islam and Allah swt.
I guess I was waiting for a breeze air to touch my heart and I shall get closer to Allah.
The sad part is that when it happed I didn't even realized it, when my heart poured to Allah, when I stood for prayer longer than I ever did, when the name of Allah was mentioned how my heart melted and how I found peace within.
I looked at the negative side of what was happing to me, I felt like I was being tested and even punished for what I did. The sheydan got the best of me. He whispered why is Allah not answering your prayers. Alhamdulilaah Allah gave me the straight to get back up and not give up my prayers as they'll be answered one day, I might not know that day but it will happen,Insha'Allah
Allah said call upon me and I shall answer.
The thing is people around me wanted me to get better so they did everything they could. Some said I was possessed by sheydan, some said it was evil eye, it was this and that...
Almost everyone told me what to read whether it's quran or dua. Honestly I did. But what I was missing was the trust. I was waiting for a instant recovery. I thought I was sick, till I remember those who are really sick day and night yet keep smile on their face.
If anything, this made me a better muslim, what ever Allah brings your way there is perfect reason. Don't question it say Alhamdulilaah and accept and pray for relieve.
I prayed and became a lot better muslim than I would ever imagine. As I stood in my prayers every single day my eyes filled with tears. Yet the shaydaan would asks me if Allah is so great why didn't he answer your prayer even though you were sincere. I was blinded from the prayer I made that was accepted, because I was so focused on the one I was making at that moment.
The sheydan might be whispering in your ears but he has no power over you. The point of this never give up asking Allah. It took prophet Ayuud many years yet he never gave up hope. And alway try to look at the positive side of the situation. Allah does not bring misery to man which he can not handle. If you're being tested you are loved by Allah. How beautiful is that.
Every time you feel like you need a someone to be there for you, remember you have Allah who is more powerful.