Friday, April 16, 2010

Endless love

There is no stop sign to the love that mother has for her children it’s never too much.

My mother is a mother, different from other mothers I have see and met. My mother was always awake sometime I wondered when she went to sleep, she was awake when I go to sleep she was awake when I woke up. And she never was a sleep when I go to school.
Back in Africa we lived in house that had one bedroom and one living room. It didn't have kitchen or bathroom inside. My family were 8, and we managed to share it the 2 rooms. Life was hard. But mother tried her best to keep us from sleeping with empty stomach or education nor feeling less then the others around us. As she always said “ put them down before they let you down”. For the whole month we received a small amount of money, which we had to divide it into food, education, transportation, school supplies, light bill, clothes , health.

We lived far way from the school that we use to attend. Since we couldn’t afford the house located near the school. We use to take 3 buses just to get the school. Each day it use to coast us $10. Sometimes when it’s the end of the month and we run out of money. In the afternoon my mother use to go to the neighbors and asked them if she could borrow some money. And when she does it for while and months pass by she use get shy and she use to ask the neighbors stores. I remember one day, That I made a promise to my self that I would not have a children. I remember one morning that a tears come down on her eyes, as we went to different stores asking for $10 , I saw her tears come down her eyes and she kept going and asking them if she could barrow $10 even though she didn’t spoke the language. We finally found someone to lend us $10. When we sat in the bus I saw her wipe away her tears with her “gabsaar” at the same time waving with a little smile of relieve for the day.

AS we were in the bus going to school, I thought about what she was think as she walked up the hill store to store with a full of tears in her eyes, kept going for $10 d so that she could send her children to school. And I though what if we reach where she want us to reach and we neglect her, yet she has confident on us. No matter what was head of us.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Saturday, April 10, 2010

I cry in the rain, and when i peal an onion

I cry in the rainy , and when I peal an Onion

“I cry in the rainy , and when I peal an onion to hide my feeling.
those were the words that woke me up from my sleep, from my day dreaming, from my fantasy life, usually we know things but we don’t say it to our selves just for our own safety
Sometimes it hurt to say those words, or even hear it from someone else.
When I was young we lived in a foreign country. Life was not easy nor hard. Mother tried her best to keep us from sleeping with a empty stomach, or sad face, or feeling less then the other who had more then we had. She tried to shadow those images from us, as she always said, “ Don’t look down at anyone unless you’re helping them”.

As a child I always felt different from other kids, not because of what I am wearing not because of what I look like. But what usually ran in my mind was why am I wearing a better cloth then those kids and have better live than them , yet they have what I need. They had a education
I never went to school. I usually woke up at 9:00 am, and I usually spend 6 hours alone and wondering around the village. There was no children around, between 9:00 am until 2:00 the only people around the village were older then I was or younger then I was. I frequently asked my self why my mother didn’t send me to school, even though my other siblings did. And I didn’t have the heart and the tongue to ask her that question. As one of my sister always said, “ you should go to school” hearing those words use to make me feel delighted. And sometimes I use to imagine my self carrying a backpack in high spirits.
Always in the afternoon, I use to go to the store and buy a bread. As I’m on my way if I see a kid with a backpack I use to stare at them, as I sometimes use to find tears on my eyes. I didn’t know whether my mom didn’t like me? And then I use to correct my self, that she didn't had the money. Then I asked my self why can’t she send me to the public school if she can’t afford the private once? There were numerous of question that use to jog in my head, but at that age I had no answer to those question that I use to ask my self .
One day, my mom got mad at my dad. She accused him of spending money that we could use as a family, and she continue the argument, usually when they fight I use to try not to listen to them. since we live in a small house, and every were you go, you could hear ever word clearly, never less an argument. When ever they start to fight I use to drive my mind to some where else. That I want to be, “ I use to imagine me in a big house laying down the with my little daughter on top of me and play in the rainy, getting wet and laughing. Imagination use to take me away from my dad and moms argument, but that day some how one word that my mom said brought me back to the reality and I smiled, those words she said brought a happiness in my face I was more happier then my day dreaming. Till this day I clearly remember the exact same words she said, “ and my youngest daughter is sitting here without an education and you spend money”. Those words actually answered my answerless questions that use to go circle in my head.

Girls turning into Women faster

Girls turning into women faster

A country that is located in the Eastern Africa with tragic
People face difficulty situation each day, fear from war, hunger, shelter, dead. But that does not stop them from the worshiping God and feel affections that they have for each other.

Usually girls get married at very young age. Years 570-571 A.D. this act was done to enlarge the population, When girls reach the age of puberty they were to arrange marriage mostly with a married man since the young men were not mostly wealthy,

Currently the causes of early marriage is not to enlarge population
Since birth control is forbidden in the Islamic religion
“ likewise, it is forbidden if resorted to for fear of poverty. Allah(God) says, “Don’t kill your children for fear of poverty; it is We who provide sustenance for them and you” and due to belief
many women don’t use it. Along with high-priced and some area the birth control are undiscovered or mostly are not familiar with it, because of that family grow larger and have a lots of children.

When a boy is born mostly to the family, the family are satisfied and thrilled.
Its possible that the husband might get married with a second wife, if his first wife does not give birth to any boy, due to cultural standers. When a boy is born the wife gets gifts and family member gather and celebrate for the new born to wish him a bright future

On the other hand when the wife give birth to baby girl is no big deal the only goal in her life is to be a good religion women and a good wife and mother. Typically the family have 4 to 9 children with underprivileged life, living gets harder for the family to feed the children, clothed them, even a roof under their head therefore when the girls reach the age of puberty they are to be arrange marriage to a wealthy man to give her a better life and for the dowry for the family of the pride

Those are not the only reason, there are loads of reason which is impossible to mention all of them in here, but the other that are the most important reason they take this action is build respect and value for the Female and to remain away form the sin that can be caused from single females.
Today people think it’s an awful and unkind to do that to the young females to shadow their future in front of them, but every action has its own advantages and disadvantages, currently 2010 most of teen are getting pregnant at very young age with out marriage and baby grows without a father, frequently most of teen give their child for adaption.

If you compare the present and to past , the present is disgrace, humiliation and embarrassment to carry a baby in middle school and high school, earlier period young females didn’t have education the only experience that they had was a motherhood, which was not dishonor, today that the world is growing when many mention similar situation society looks at it as dreadful image , if you reflect it to the present one many consider the present a dreadful. Historically arrange marriage was to keep the dignity of young females, today young females misplaced their dignity.