Unless I Allow him.

Unless I Allow him.

No man  can tell me not to walk on wardheegleeye

No man can tell me when to fly or not to fly to afgooye

No man can tell me not to clime the mountains of mugdisho

No man can tell me not to fish the on the rivers of Ras Kambodi.

No man can tell me not to buy coffee in  kismaayo

No man can tell me not to eat sambuus in  lascaanood .

No  human can stop me from Somali , not you not them

I will kick the rocks of taleex as I wish and how I wish

I will swim in the beach of liido, as low as I can

I will claim the mountains of muqdisho as High as I want

You can’t stop me.

Unless I allow you to stop me

Unless I hand you the gun,

No man can’t kill my son,

unless I teach him how

No man can rape my daughter ,

unless I allow you

You can’t hurt me.

I Have Dreams

I have a dreams that my son will be walking free in greater Somalia

I have a dreams that my daughter will play in the sand of liibo with no fear

I have a dreams that one day I will pick the phone and  have the opportunity to order not Pizza ,but canjeero

I have a dreams that I will stand next to Somali boys and girls when I graduate  not white and Asians

I have a dreams that one day  I will only speak “Afsomali” and not have to speak any other language

I have a dreams that I will live in a days where I will see the Somali people forget qabyalad, and will focus on “Qaranka

I have a dreams that Somalia will change their nick name from third world country to first world country.

I have dreams to wake up one morning and not see aqarax iyo qasaro on the headline.

I have a dreams that one day these words will disapear darood and hawiye and somalinimo will apprear 

I have dreams , that I wish it was not a dream.

Is mawlid bidah?

I grew up in a house hold that mawlid was a holiday, we celebrated.  I have never thought that there was a controversy over Mowlid. . My father is Sheikh, as I was growing up I basically followed my dad. I still do. I consider my father a VERY wise guy, very open minded, if you disagree with him, his arguments are based on reliable resource, either the kutab or hadith. (He won't say I heard that or I Think SO, nor such and such said that) very straight forward. Of course that is what I like about "Sufi" unlike others who are willing to make their own rules. Every Friday night His heer (group of sheikhs) would sit in the balcony and do their stuff dikri (seerah, read Quran on people and nasheeds are sung...etc...)And every other sheikh I knew was in his group.  My point here is I have never left their territory I was under their wings. Then I met a guy who questioned everything my dad taugh me. Alhamdulillah I have a decent knowledge of Islam. So whenever I disagree with him, he wound send me ayah and he would translated it. (ON HIS OWN WAY of course). Then in the month of Rabi Awal he had the guts to tell me “Mowlid is bidah” Yes, I broke up with him lool... But that is not the point; the point is this kid was Aqwan. So, it basically made me wonder, so I did a bit of research just to see where the Islam sscholars  stand at this.

Now, A bid'ah is anything newly invented in the deen.. And most of philosophers argue, why you would invent 3” rd Eid... There is only two... And who in this dunyah loves Mohammed (Sallal laahu Alaihi Wasallam) then that Sahaba, if they didn't do it... who are you to celebrate mowlid...  (UNDERSTANDABLE) common sense, right?

The first Mawlid (celebration of the prophet Mohammed’s birthday) by Sunni Muslims was organized by Muzaffar ad-Din ibn Zain al-Din, who was the ruler of Irbil (in Iraq), in Hijri year of 604. Those ceremonies which were organized with long-term preparations were attended by all people. Muzaffar ad-Din invited Islamic scholars, student of knowledge and Sufis from the neighboring regions to Irbil.

The first ever Mawlid (celebration of the prophet Mohammed’s birthday was on the 12th of the Islamic month Rabee al-Awwal) was organized by Shia Fatimids they belonged to the Ismaili branch of the Shia. They ruled Egypt between the years of 297-567 Hijri years. Mawlid was organized in the palace and only the statesmen could attend them.

 The prophet said, “He who innovates something in this matter of ours that is not of it, will have it rejected.” Recorded in, Bukhari and Muslim. Also the prophet said, “Whoever does an act which is not in agreement with our matter, will have it rejected.” Recorded by, Muslim.

Mufti Taqi Usmani wrote, that if certain conditions are met, then such a gathering is good. However, he suggests that the prevalent mawlid gatherings are an innovation and are thus forbidden…

Even though it’s not Sunnah, other scholars say they’re not inventing, nor adding anything to the deen...

Where I stand, in the middleJ... I will not say its bidah AND I won’t say it’s not …

Why the ladies like the "BAD BOY"?

Why am I writing about this, and not doing my homework ,,writing the essay about paranormal? that  IS UNSOLVED MYSTERY :).  Any who, I was talking to a friend and she had relationship dilemma. I don't know how but our conversation switched to a "good" Guy and "Bad" Boy and why ladies prefer the bad guy.

I did a bit of research and I have realized that most the sociologist say women prefer the BAD BOY, because she knows what to expect from him. Nor will she find herself disappointed down the road. I myself have done a research lol.. seriously I thought about it and I figured it out. The sociologist are right on one side and wrong on the other side. Yes, they do it for "protection" but not the kind of protection that sociologist are aiming at. The "Bad" boy had done it all. Drug, Jail, Women, Gun, you name it. So if he settles down for her, that means SHE is different, than what he saw out there..And there is a very low chance that he will be back on his game. (Because he DONE IT ALL AND SEEN IT ALL) 

Unlike the "good" guy who is more likely and willing to settle for any kind of women. Don't get me wrong I am not saying that is bad. But the Good guy did not do what  he wanted to do.. What do I mean by that, you might ask? . I have seen it with my naked eyes, 20 and 30 year old getting married and ending up in what is known as  unhealthy marriage. Because he wants to do what his pals(who are single) are doing, because he settled for her sooo early. And didn't get the change to do what he wanted.  Again Don't get me wrong. I have also seen a 20 year old who got married and are happily married, but that rarely occurs.

So that "Good guy"" sits with himself one day, and asks himself why did I get married.

While the "Bad boy" sits with himself and says, I done it all.. I AM DONE!!! time to get married :)

Okay let me make myself clear.. I am not saying go get a bad guy,, .But I am just explaining why they do what they do. (at least that WHAT I came up with )

The best way to get down on your knee ( IN MY World )

Make sure it's something money can't buy...


1) Take her to the beach when the sun goes down, find a private spot, lay down and watch the starts
Tell her that she reminds you of the start, because when you look at her your whole life shines.  Face her and tell her you want to die in her arms :) (yeah you need to go to jared :) and handed over.


2) Wait untill it's her birthday, make a conspiracy with a family members, (to let you in ..of course. DON'T BREAK IN LOL)  wait untill it's 12:00 sit next to her bed, wake her up wish her a happy d-day and ask her to take you as  her husband. :)


3) Take her to dinner, at the top of the tower, write her a poem.
   list the letter of her name. and tell her every letter means love to you, because every time you say her name, it remindes you of how much you love her. GET Down on one kness and ask her to make your dream come true.




4) Tell her you will make sure she cries everyday, (with seriouse face) .. then say..of course tears of joy. Tell her you will make sure her face wrinkle,, of course with laughter. (everytime she is felling down)
Tell her that her  phone won't be unlimited , of course my love for you is .and always will be.. 
Tell her you can't promise her to be the only women that you'll hold on your arms and kiss goodnight..Of course were gann have a baby girl ::.. then asker her if she could help you  acheive your goals....

The Father I never had.

Humans are very picky creatures, what do I mean by that you might ask? I consider myself the pickiest person I know. But what I don't seem to understand is we look for something, we strive for it but when it happens  and it's right in front of us , why don't we take, why are we scared of it.

I consider my father the best father of the whole wide world, very wise guy a great father and a wonderful husband. However, when I was growing up I  always dream about my dad giving me a hug, or a kiss on the forehead. I mean I dreamed of something that is far fetched. I once sat with myself, and asked why? just why?. Why it's so hard to give your child a hug, I know he loves us more than anything there is no question about that, but what I don't seem to find an answer for is why not show it? It won't  cost  you a dime. I did find an answer, maybe it's because I met my dad when I was 5 and he was stranger to me for a while and didn't build that father daughter bond when I was younger. I mean it's possible right.

And than I grew up, I told myself that this  is not how the society does it. Or even this is not how he sees it. I mean we all depict the image of how our life should be when we get married, how we will react toward our wife and children. So his depiction didn't contain what I was looking for from a father.

So grew up, I made myself a promise that I will find the best dad for my kids, his kiss and hugs must be unlimited. I went thought this,  the least I can do is don't let my children crave for hugs and kissing.

Then I met my uncle, loving, caring, sweet, he will hug you, talk to you, kiss you, basically he was the father I never had. And then I refuse to believe that. I mean  I had what I wanted, but I was not willing to accept it. I guess my dad gave me his gene of being "strong emotionally". Part of me was happy and part of me was sad. Because all this time the one thing that I use to tell myself was there is no such a father that I fantasize about, then when my Uncle proved me wrong I had to find another answer, another way to settle my heart. So, the easy way to do it was to not take it in. I just refused to take it. I use to ignore my Uncle as much as I can. But for some reason, he always ended up next to me. It's like he could read me, he figured out that I was ignoring him but still he  didn't give up on me.

That day I realized that people are not the same, and what you are looking for might be next you,  you might find it from someone else you didn't expect from , but you are searching for it from a distance, from a place you will not find it.

I have also realized that I refused to believe it when it's  too perfect. All this for protection,  I mean, I figured Allah swt answered my prayer, he gave me an Uncle. So I decided to change myself, I decided to let people into my life. I really did completely opened up. Someone walked in, someone I considered a friend a good one. I gave what I didn't know I could give. At that point in my life time my goal was not to hurt anyone's feeling. So I was sooo honest, of course I was young too. .  I let my heart down, I convince my heart  to open up he did, but I left him(heart) down.

So, this time  I closed it up and threw the keys  away. I don't want to test that pain again. I mean my heart won't trust me anymore. Years passed by, I got more wiser, I grew as a person and got more wiser. So again I trying to give it a second change. Fighting with my heart eventually he will open up and when he does he lays everything on the table. I wish I could find a way to balance it . And then I would feel like I am holding back and not being honest to that person.

Allah stw gives us a second chance, there is no reason Why I shouldn't

Things I want to do

 Insha'Allah

Get a Job ( seriously, 2012)

Take a trip to muqdisho and Ethiopia (2012)

Grow my hair ( like it use to be, NO MORE CUTIING going to take care of it.2012)

Find a love ( unlimed, I am not going to pick a year lol)

Learn Arabic( start 2012)
Take summer school (2012)

Get a real license (lol, befor I GET catch 2012)

Get involve in the community (volunteer time 2012)

Create a Non profite organization for education (2012) (back home, time to give back)

Buy a car ( Yes, GOT TO, NEED TO )

Sub in school( do I really want to  do this for a career 2013)

Take a trip to Arab world ( Qatar,,, or maybe Dubai 2013)

 Take a summer school (2013)

INSHA'ALLAH

Graduate with bachelors (2014)

Start my Master degree (2014)

Start my career (2014)

BUY a NEW CAR :) (2014)

build schools in Somalia( 1st goal and the hardest, Insha'Allah)

Take a trip some where..(2014)

Find a job in the Qatar ( Yes, I so love that country 2015)

Finish my master on Education administrations ( 2015)

Start another master on "SOCIAL WORK (2015)

Get Married (2016 :) ( make it happen. ..IDK WHY i am laughing at this )

GO TO HAWAII ( for honeymoon :) 

Devoted this year to "Social work) 

Work for the UN

GO TO HAJ (2016)(INSHA'ALLAH)

GO BACK TO SOMALIA (2016)

Things I just want to do>>>>> with out any ORDER

Run a marathon.

Watch a live , Man United playing

Go to Qatar, 2021 For FIFA WORLD CUP  ( I THINK..have you SEEN HOW BEAUTIFUL THEIR STADIUMS ARE ..BREATH TAKING  )  

HAVE AT LEAST 6 KIDS ( INSHA'ALLAH) :)

Get a degree in Politic Science  ( iN OXFORD UNI )

Dance in the Rain  :) NO I AM NOT CRAZY

Go to women Only Beach.

Ride a horse  ( YES I live in TX.. AND DID NOT RODE A HORSE SHAME ON ME :)

Go a week  without technology

GO TO FRANCE, EGYPT, Caribbean, Italy, LONDON, Kuwait," Oman** ,

Build a masjid in remote area 

Write a book ( and Publish it )

Adopt a kids

Learn to  belly dance :)

*Get picked up by PROFESSIONAL  wrestler on ONE HAND and get thrown over the ring ( on safe surface of course :)

*Sleep for  a day  

*Finish the quraan in the month of Ramadan.

*Pierce my Belly Button ( That must happen before a kid comes ) :)

*Buy a house ( with a beautiful view) 

Work for UNICEF.

** Those are few that I can think of right now.. (Yes their is more :)

 

Feeling Older...

Happy-late birthday to me .. lHmm.. I am not a B-day person. But, what I have realized this year is that I am getting old..  :( ...  alhamdulilaah.. Usually it was yeeey I am turning 15 or 16 or 5 or 7 or 17 or 18 and so on.. Now, it's like wow, I am not going to tell you my age lol.. Hmmm I haven't seen gray hair yet though lol.. Alhamdulilaah it was a great year, May Allah swt allow me to reach the next September 20th ..Amiin

Alhamdulilaah...Alhamdulilaah ....

I complained about living in non-Islamic country, almost all my life. But when we moved to U.S.A It just got worst; not being able to hear atham (call of prayer) this task was tough. Every- time I take a look at the clock to see if it's time. It just kills me. You see if you live in Islamic country, you won’t worry about dis remembering or praying late. You'll be reminded to pray. You just tackled one step out of the way. But, if you don't live in Islamic country your job is typically doubled. You have to keep track of the clock to see if it’s Salah time. But still, look at the pride side; you have Muslim people around you .Perhaps if you forget to pray and you see someone praying...tiNg tiNg. Now they reminded
you to pray. Alhamdulillah. All praise to Allah. I have no problems remembering to pray.


Now image living with non-Muslims. The Fact that you’re the only Muslim in the area. A year ago I decided to obtain a bachelor’s degree. I applied to university which  happened to be far from where I live. I expected a rejection letter. But it didn’t happen. Then, I thought my parents won’t let their youngest daughter leave home. AGAIN I WAS WRONG. I prayed every day; I asked Allah swt to stop me from this, in any way possible, if this decision would harm me or my religion . Almost everyone  I informed, that  I'll be living in campus  99%  of  them questioned my religion and dignity. “Nasra, are you out of your mind, are you not Muslim?” …”Listen to yourself”..” ..”This is Un  Islamic,, Islam forbids girls to leave home”… “You’ll be misled easily...”... “Why is that you need to go far from home, can’t you get education at the local universities?”… There is a reason for everything. If this experience tough me anything, It tough me to appreciate being a Muslim . If this experience made me anything. It made a better Muslim. I realized how lucky we’re. I did question how easily my parents accepted this decision. Being the ONLY Muslim, in this small town, filled with red-necks and infidels. Perhaps they knew something I didn’t know. . They know what kind of daughter they raised. 


Ps.. Don't spend a day with out saying Alhamdulilaah.. We are truly blessed.

Was it eid?

yes, its hard to tell if its eid or not when you are in a dorm and surround with non muslims.. Even thought I didnt had the opportunity to pray and celebrate eid .with the family and friends. It did feel like eid when I prayed by my self and yeah ate hawlo lol.....worst on the list ..but allahdulilaah ..may our fast and salah &l; duas be among the once that were accepted amiin ya Allah