Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Senior Year Depression

Have you ever worked hard for something, and when it's finally there at the finish line you just feel like quitting. I have been in school for 9 years. I haven't done anything but my best. School come first and the rest would flow. I felt like I made a commitment, for sickness and for healthy till Depression or Diploma takes us a part. First semester was all about getting to college. And taking the SAT/ACT the THE /  Accuplacer. It was hectic. Then second semester began. There is nothing to do. You will find your self wondering in the middle of the afternoon. This kind of action is unusual. You will find yourself blogging in at 1:00 in the morning. This kind of action is not like you. I don't want to talk to people I use to love to talk to.I use to use my time wisely. Wake up at 6:00  Pray, make breakfast. Hit the road at 7:00 am I now find myself at the office getting tardy pass. I use to go to the library at lunch time, check out books. read the news. check my mails. Come home at 2:00. Eat, and go to the Elementary school for the  Honor Society tutoring program. Come back at 4:00 take a nap. Wake up at 6:00 pray, do homework, Then my spare time would began, go to Facebook, blog. Msn. TXT, Talk on the phone. I had something to look forward to. It's not new thing. But it was an obligation. I now feel like I'm fired from my long job. So I am seeking out for a real job that I can see the out-come. I want to be challenged again. I use to depict the image of my day. I want to get curious  and do research on weird stuff. I am tired of thinking  about my future. I am tired of staring at the wall and not wanting to do anything. I am tired of sleeping late and blogging late. I want the old me back.  I always wonder how dumb people are when I hear , they drop out of their last semester of high school. My reaction was always WHAT? All this years for one semester. Walking up when it's raining and other are in deep sleep. Waking in the sun when it's 105 degrees Celsius.   Staying up at night finishing the project or writing the essay. Studying for a test. All of the hard work for ONE LAST SEMESTER? IS WORTHY IT.  Don't judge the man, if you haven't been in his shoes. It feels like it's worthy it. But some of us are strong so we blog about it or write in our diary  or utter about  how we can not take it any more.That we had enough and want to take the next action. And others are weak so they take the action and burn their life in front of one semester.
But I am STRONG!!!! I BLOG about it, I don't BURN IT !!!

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