Monday, February 21, 2011

In My OWN little world

More than once  I was asked  why I aloof my self from females.   Why don't you have GIRL FRIENDS? It was an ordinary question that I get Now and Again. I simply use to joke around ,  Because "They don't like me" ironic depiction. And perhaps it doesn't go far than that . I was recently asked AGAIN. But this time it came from someone I didn't know much. And he got into deeper than others did. This guy had  the guts to tell me "You are devoted to yourself". 

 >He continues ,  You're basically committed  to  your own little world. Your friendly on  outside margin. but  
tremendous your inner is limited.

I didn't had  desire answering, nor to comment on what he said, which made me excessively irritated.
 I won't mind if that statement of opinion approached from someone who has   possess knowledge of me. 
If I could recall  my eyes glanced at  this young man  less than 2 or 3 times. Let alone knowing him. 

  > He carries it on, Don't miss understand me, but I had keeping you on eyes for the past months or so 
You seem pretty nice girl, and religious, But your also  egoistic.

What? ego Who ?
< You know what? Why don't you keep your certain assumptions to yourself next time. I said and walked away. 
He was lucky It was Almost time for my next class, which I had a test.
Over coming my anger over the "nerd" stranger. I took it into little consideration of what he said. 
I once had a "BEST FRIEND" someone came between us. All the sudden we were detached. We waved at each other, or greeted one another when perceived by sight   , But we were not friends anymore.  It damaged  special  place in my heart. I haven't had a "Friend" after her.  It  takes more to me to call someone a "friend". 
I have more girls in the house. I don't need more. 
After a week or so. The nerd came sat next to me again. And apologizes. And introduced himself. 
After we had a few conversation about school and life.  I suddenly seemed to view him differently.

>Why did you made that comment the other day?  I am just curious,  I asked.
>Well, Every time I see you, you're attached to your books.
< WOW! That is coming out from a nerd . 
   He smiled, true!

>You just seem to be ignoring everyone. Like you will not need any creature.   I view independence as an excellent matter. I also respect that you're self centeredness.

  < I can't believe you have the nerve to say that!  I didn't came here for necessitate of others.  Hopefully we'll will come into agreement that  when  you get females together , lots of truth are spoken not back-fence talk" can we say that is conceptualism in another planet.? 
He laught, You got a point there. Miss Religious, he said.

I persanally view  females as glorious, dignified creatures. I just can't stand rumour. she said he said. nonsence argument. Last but not least My biggest fear "Emotional crises" I have 4 sisters plus a mother . I thing I have enough  females in my life. pluse  I am the kind of person that doesn't not utter freely about what is in my heart. Females  tipically  tend to  share their feeling, and worries.  and ask you if you could related to it. I hate lying. I want to make them feel better at that moment. At the same time, If I say "yes" I could related to it. They expect  me to tell them how it made me feel.  I don't share with people my emotional rack.  That explained why I am stress. Well many say I am not suppose to be a girl more like a man. But I guess it's that I haven't had someone in my life that I could open up to. except  the piece of a letter I write once a year and tear it afterward, I don't even have the guts to read what I wrote. Now You can imagine how bad it is.

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